Time, obsession, and how to lean in

A Parent Wrote... "My 6 year old son tries to turn consequences into pity parties for himself and I’m so torn on what to do. He’s an only child, but very close with his (younger) cousins. They’re at our home a lot, they’re more like siblings. They typically play together quite well, but… My son has always had a hard time keeping his hands to himself, sometimes really bad stuff like punching, hair pulling or pinching. When he gets physical with one of his cousins (usually play related disputes) we take the cousin away from the game and say “we won’t let you hurt your cousin”. He then proceeds to get really upset, cry, scream, etc.. and then immediately goes into “I need a hug! I need a hug!”. Now, I understand that he’s upset and is looking for help regulating, but I’m soothing/caring for the “hurt” friend at that point. His consequence is that we have left the game/his general area because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, and he now wants me to comfort/snuggle him through his consequence (defeating the consequence all together). While a big part of me wants to sit with him and comfort him, it really feels like manipulation, too. It feels like he doesn’t want to be in trouble and that he wants to make the situation all about him. I feel like he shouldn’t get to hurt someone and then get a hug. Any thoughts?" In this podcast episode, I break down the divisive language this parent is using to talk about her son - and discuss what they can do differently for less hitting and kicking! Welcome to Season 2 episode 3 of the Recreate Parenting Podcast. Six year old manipulating mama?